Now this is a story all about how my knee got twisted, turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there and tell you how I became the gimp of a town called LA.
I was walking down on of LA’s many 3rd world sidewalks with Sam on the way home from work, it was dark and we were casually talking when all of a sudden…
So I got up looked at Sam and was just like…
Sam: “I’ve done that like 4 times”
For two days after I just couldn’t seem to figure out what the tremendous pains in my leg was caused by, “I must just have sore legs from constantly having to walk everywhere” - I thought to myself. I decided to just be stubborn and push through the pain until one night waking back to the loft with Sequoia and Becca after enjoying a hilarious 1am breakfast. It took a matter of seconds for me to start walking like Frankenstein but still I pushed on, slept it off and even walked to work the next morning.
But it was walking home from work when things took a turn for the worst, I managed to make it all the way to our loft before collapsing on the couch in pure agony.
I sat there for 2 hours unable to decide if I was going to walk to the Doctors surgery that was only a block away or call somebody. Finally I just texted Sequoia, she came and picked me up and I somehow managed to maneuver myself into her Prius. She called her Dad to see what we should do.
Sequoia: Dad, I’m with my friend, she’s Australian, she has hurt her knee, do you know someone who can fix her
Sequoia’s Dad: No. Take her to the emergency room.
On the way to the hospital the conversation went something like this:
Sequoia: I’m hungry, can you eat, are you in too much pain?
Me: No I’m fine let’s eat
So we ate, sat at this miscellaneous restaurant for about an hour and I say miscellaneous because I don’t think either of us ever worked out what country the cuisine originated in. We got back in the car and were back on our way to the hospital. Sequoia then discovered that I had yet to see all the “sights” of LA so she proceeded to take me on her very own tour. Mind you this is 2 hours after she picked me up and we are still yet to arrive at the hospital. But it was so much fun that it made me forget about how much pain I was in and now I can say I have had a personalized tour of Beverly Hills.
So we finally got to the hospital, it took literally 10 minutes to get seen by a doctor, I even managed to slip in an inappropriate joke to the nurse in that time:
Nurse: Can you please take off your sweater.
Me: OK, but I don’t know you well enough to take off anything else.
Sequoia and I:
Nurse (clearly not impressed): … Just the sweater
Best part about it all, it was FREE. All I can say is God bless Obama Care.
So I get discharged from the hospital, no worries, fully equipped with crutches and a knee brace, turns out I ripped either my meniscus or a ligament (which neither I nor Sequoia can pronounce).
(Mind you the crutches did not look like this, I tagged them with FW stickers this afternoon when I was extremely doped up on happiness pills from the hospital).
Getting the pills however was a nightmare, I have never had to deal with ruder people in my life - Yeah, I’m talking to you Kaiser Pharmacy in West Lost Angeles. First of all the dude was like
Captain Rude: We don’t have any Percocet in stock would you like to check another pharmacy?
Me: No that’s fine just give me the other pain killers
Captain Rude: But you won’t be able to get the Percocet somewhere else there is only one prescription.
Me: That’s fine
Captain Rude: I’ll tell you what I can get Percocet from the hospital, we’ll just say you’ve just been discharged and then you can have it.
Mind you I am still wearing the hospital bracelet to prove that I had in fact just been discharged from the hospital.
Me: …OK. How long will that take
Captain Rude: Around 30 minutes, actually I’ll get it expedited so you can have it much sooner, I’ll lie and tell them you’re in pain.
Captain Rude: You’re in pain right *wink*
Anyway I finally got the medicine which I can say has so far provided A LOT of entertainment for Becca and Sean and I’m not feeling glum so that’s a bonus. On the plus side I look pretty BADA$$ in my leg brace and newly tagged crutches, what can I say… THUG LIFE!